/ drained /

exhausted on it, done
still more to learn
fuck it -- right?
vessel of hope turned 180
maybe -- i did it wrong
and still do, but is it 
wrong
that i feel
[i] threw the thought
the suggestion...connotation
but deliberate like, right?
wrong or not [indifferent],
it is/was time
to form/unformed, no matter
what i feel / right? 
...probably wrong...
fuck -- i feel / drained

meet me, see me
where i'm at, i don't know
so, here we are
i'm letting go
or at least i tell myself that
i'm free
but even that
makes me 
feel

drained, i say
i'm done, again, but
the story remains
undone, i sit
in situ i guess
terrified, frustrated, calm
drained, the refrain
-- reset --
[still
drained]

makes more sense to scribble
nothing said, says what i mean
i mean, what i say
falls
on feels
bereft of sound
absorption, beguiled by distortion
dis...something ain't it
why make square pegs fit?
[futile] excercises for the restless
BIG or not, doesn't matter
the over and again, i continue to
swim in a soul pool of my own making
that feels [draining?]
drained

go ahead, say i missed the mark
somehow i came back to internals,
visceral streaks of overturned joy
turned c/enter to better explain
the reasons, the moments,
the extent to which i feel
drained





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